I was a very worried dog on this particular day. Lying down, minding my own business, pretending to be asleep, I could hear them talking…about me.
I was just over a year old, and had been going to obedience classes and pre agility classes for some time. All good fun, with a nice little group in a village hall. Things were going well until I overheard their conversation.
– I think you can order one online
– Not too expensive
– Oooo…we can get it on Amazon Prime. It’ll be here tomorrow. I’ll do a ‘One Click’.
She should not be let loose with ‘One Click’. Downright dangerous and sometimes she clicks it twice! They had, to my horror, ordered something called a waterboard. Now, being a switched on collie I know for sure that this ‘waterboarding’ is used as a form of torture by the military and the secret service to extract confessions from spies, terrorists and other undesirables. I wasn’t quite sure of the process but it sounded horrific.
The poor victim (soon to be me!) is strapped on a sloping board with the mouth and nose covered , whilst large quantities of water are poured over the face. Unable to breathe, this gives the prisoner the feeling that they are drowning.
Panic set in. What on earth had I done to deserve this? My mind wandered over the events of the past few weeks. I had run off a couple of times after birds and ignored the whistle. I had growled at a few of the dogs in the training class, barked at the postman, created merry hell at the vets when she tried to puff drops up my nose, done lots of lunging on the lead. Maybe there’s more.
But no self respecting canine deserves this.
This should be reported to the RSPCA at once. How many more dogs are going through the same agonies as me? I suppose I could run away but where to? Winter was fast approaching and survival out in the wilds would be well nigh impossible.
I decided to lie low, do my ‘Alfie is the perfect dog’ act, refrain from all barking, lunging, chasing and growling in the hope that they would change their minds and forget my misdemeanours. But things went from bad to worse.
Alfie the Agility Dog (and his owners) 